I spent the morning reading a bunch of old conversations with various people. And now I am filled with this deep distrust of everything. People throw around words like “forever” and “i promise” so thoughtlessly. Perhaps I do too. These are very heavy things to say. In the moment, it is easy to forget that things change, that promises are broken. And I want to be able to do something about it, but I didn’t make or break any such promises. So now, reading these messages from my friends, and being who I am now, how am I to continue to trust? When someone says “I’ll always be there for you,” what motivation do I have to believe them? It takes a single moment for such things to come crumbling to the ground around you, leaving you with nothing but your own promises and a loss of people to give them to.
"..contrary to what the cynics say, distance is not for the fearful, it is for the bold. It’s for those who are willing to spend a lot of time alone in exchange for a little time with the one they love. It’s for those knowing a good thing when they see it, even if they don’t see it nearly enough…"
Article in Oprah magazine (via sexnlove)
"Ever kiss someone so hard … no, not hard, but intense, you know, electric… . Ever kiss someone so electric your skin peels off and floats away, and then his skin wraps itself around you to keep you warm and it feels like velvet, and then you look in his eyes and you can see every thought you ever had looking back at you?"
Laurie Halse Anderson
Love is the sort of topic, along with things such as memory and time, that lends itself to becoming very cliche. Two peas in a pod. The apple of my eye. You’re the only one for me, baby. Valentine’s Day is, in effect, a celebration of these cliches, the one day a year where it is considered socially acceptable to be a sappy, love-ridden teenager regardless of your age.
The funny thing about love though, or at least what I find to be funny about it, is that it is different for every person. While people may say similar things when asked to define “love,” their individual experiences and perception of the concept vary greatly depending on a number of factors, including age, experience, and general life situation. An individual’s definition of love is fluid, which explains why we no longer consider the “puppy love” we felt in our earlier years to define real love.
My point being, how can the idea of love be so cliche if, really, there is no all-encompassing definition or universal feeling of such a concept? How can the beautiful feeling one feels when they are in love, regardless of their personal definition of this feeling, be considered so utterly commonplace and trite?
I understand the anger that many people have towards this day, February 14, because I was, at one time, one of them. I understand the feelings of isolation that seem to be infinitely magnified when you see those doily hearts and chalky heart candies.
But as I have grown and my situation has changed, I have learned to see past this sappy front that the commercial Valentine’s Day assumes. I now view Valentine’s Day as pure celebration. It’s not about who your Valentine is or the gifts you receive from them, or even if you have a Valentine at all. It’s not about single or taken, happy or unhappy. For me, Valentine’s Day is a reminder that humans are, in fact, capable of love. That love, in all it’s perceived triteness, has an impact on each individual in this world. Love is to be appreciated where love is found, and if you can see past the pastel pink flowers and heart-shaped boxes of bonbons, you can find it anywhere. And how powerful a force love must be if it can infiltrate even to the darkest corners of humanity, or even to the darkest corners of an individual heart.
Love is out there for everyone. It might not be visible at the times when you feel most need it, and it might not make itself known for a long time. And though there are few things I dislike more than being cliche, I really think that love is for everyone. So whether this day fills you with warmth, indifference, or unadulterated rage, I encourage you to be patient. Give love, and look for it in unexpected places. Appreciate affection, regardless of who it’s from. Today is the day to celebrate something that is universal and unique. Don’t waste it on anger and hate.
Happy Valentine’s Day!